Our Imperfect Lives


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It’s a Small World – this Fostering World

We started this whole process last fall by filling out the initial paperwork, meeting with the social worker and having our first home visit. Now, as they say, timing is everything and unfortunately we started this process just a week too late and narrowly missed the start of a MAPP class in our very own city. So we sat back and waited for a class to be offered again; we figured we live in a fairly big city and another class should be offered soon. We ended up waiting for a while…

It’s now spring and still no classes are scheduled in our city, or in our county, which is why we decided to travel 45 min south. Although we’re familiar with the area and didn’t mind commuting since driving though Boston on a Saturday is fairly painless, we were a little disappointed. We were hoping to meet local people whom we could build friendships with and use as resources throughout this process.

However, as luck would have it we might still have that opportunity!

When we arrived to class we took a seat in the back next to another couple that looked about our age (coincidentally enough they were both teachers like Meg). The class was slowly filling up and shortly after we settled into our seats two men walked in and took a spot across the room – they were clearly a couple. Admittedly we were a little happy to see we wouldn’t be the only same sex couple in the class. However, our good fortune didn’t end there. As it turns out they lived not 15 minutes from our home and one of them grew up, and even taught for a few years, in the very city we call home.

At this point it’s still too early to tell if they’ll be people we’ll want to have a lasting relationship with but there’s certainly potential and we’re excited about that. We seem to have a lot in common which bodes well.

And in other small world news – another member of the class grew up in the same town as Marcy only a short bike ride from her childhood home, but is about 15 years older than the two of us.

OK, enough of the fun small world tidbits, lets talk about the world of fostering to adopt…

How was our first class you ask? Well, it was mostly what we expected, at least so far. Marguerite had done a lot of research so we had a pretty good overview of what fostering to adopt is all about. We also went into the class with the understanding that a lot of what the class would be about is pretty much scaring the crap out of potential foster parents to make sure they enter into this commitment with their eyes open. It seems as though a lot of what we discussed was merely an overview of adopting through the foster system. We touched upon who in the DCF we would potentially interact with, the roles and rights of the birth family, the foster family and the adoptive family. Plus, we learned about some of the baggage children in the system might have. In all likelihood the discussions are only going to get more in-depth and more difficult in the upcoming weeks. Not to mention it was hinted that we’re going to participate in… dun dun dun – role plays. We both hate role playing.

And now, dear readers, it’s time to do our homework before class number two on Satuday.

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Welcome to Our Imperfect Life!

Greetings gentle readers! Chances are you already know the beginning of our narrative but for those lucky few who stumbled onto our little blog with no knowledge of our storied beginning let us enlighten you….

Our names are Meg and Marcy and it all began with a wink – a virtual wink –

on match.com. We met on the famed online dating site, fell in love, and married. Now, according to fairy tales that is where the story should draw to a close as we ride off into the sunset basking in our love but… that is where this story begins.

As most couples do we chatted about kids and decided that we wanted them. Great. Now what?  For a heterosexual couple this is where the fun part begins (if you’re not having fun while trying to make a baby, you might be doing it wrong) but for us, two lesbians, this is where the logistics coversation starts.

Does one of us get pregnant? If so, who and how? There can be a lot to consider. Our decision was a little less complicated because even though we both felt a calling to be mothers, neither of us had a desire to carry a baby in our womb.

So, that was that. Adoption was our answer. More specifically, we decided we wanted to adopt through the state’s foster care program.

Some people hear about our decision and think that what we’re doing is a wonderful thing, selfless and brave even. This, dear readers, is wrong. We want children, a family, and we don’t want to do it the more traditional route. This is about our happiness – our happiness as a whole family. A family complete with two parents, a couple of kids and a couple of dogs. (Did we mention that we’re already proud beagle mothers?)

Our journey to family happiness takes an important step this weekend as we start our very first MAPP (Massachusetts Approach to Partnerships in Parenting) training class. This 24 hour training program is an important, and required, step in becoming eligible as a foster or adoptive parent through the Department of Children and Families (DCF).

We’ll be using this blog as a way to tell our family’s story right from the beginning of this exciting process and hopefully we’ll answer some of your questions along the way!